Not sunrise

So, one of my current goals is to get myself on a more productive schedule. I waste a lot of time: sleeping, reading novels, wondering what to do next. For instance, I will sleep until 10:30 am (because I work from home and that's when my youngest will wake), work until 7 or 8, hopefully work in some form of exercise during the day (like possibly a walk, or attending a gym class), do dinner and some cleanup and then go to bed with a book. I end up spending about 12 hours in bed, either sleeping or reading, most days. I'm cheating myself out of 4 hours of productivity a day. I'm bored at the weekend because I'm not sure what to do with myself because I've spent all week lounging and doing what I want (aside from working). I need to be more productive Monday through Friday and then chill on Saturday and Sunday if I want, as long as I get in my exercise on those days.

First, I need to start getting up a lot earlier. When I do wake earlier, I'm far more productive. I won't hop into bed at 6:00 pm, even if I woke up at 6:00 am, but I will hop into bed at 10:00 pm, even if I didn't wake up until 10:00 am. Does that make sense? So, earlier to start is the name of the game. Only, that's so much easier said than done. I've been trying to talk myself into an earlier start time for weeks with not a single day of success. It should be easy enough; I get up at 6:00 am to wake my daughters for school. Instead of going back to bed, I should get into the shower to wake up and start my day. I even thought about it this morning when I was getting back into bed. I told myself I should jump into the shower instead. But, I knew I would feel like crap because I hadn't been able to fall asleep until after 2 am and I had a headache, so I opted for sleep.

This is one of the conundrums - I can't force myself to fall asleep early the night before because I had slept in late and I'm not tired. Which means that the first few days I will be tired. And feel like crap. I was doing this when the school year started because I was so determined to become a morning person. I would get up early most days of the week, feeling terrible the first few days, then by mid-week I'd finally start falling asleep earlier so that by the end of the week I felt better but then on the weekend I'd sleep in again and start the whole yucky process again on Monday.

So, I know the solution is to get up at 6am every morning, every day of the week, no matter what. Only, now I know how crappy I will feel the first few days and I'm loathe to do it. If I hadn't known how crappy I'd feel, it'd be a lot easier to do this. I know I need to just bite the bullet and feel crappy and get over it, but early in the morning, when I really just want to sleep, it's very easy to convince myself that I can't feel crappy today because I have too many things to do and I'll start tomorrow. Or I won't sleep as late; I'll work my way up to getting up at 6 so I won't feel so crappy. Only, as today, I'll sleep until 10:30 anyway.

Gotta love the cycle. My every day goal is to be strong enough to get myself in the shower at 6am and stay awake, no matter how yucky I will feel. And to do that every morning, without fail, until I no longer feel yucky.

Will tomorrow be the day?